BORN TO BE LOVED
GUTHRIE WILD GRACE
Guthrie's Birth Story
~ Guthrie's Daddy's Story...
Guthrie's birth feels like an epic dream saga. I had never experienced a birth before and I only had a vague idea of what was to come. It started Friday evening when the pre-labor contractions began. They went through the night with Amy in the bath tub most of the night. On Saturday afternoon they ebbed and Amy was able to watch most of a movie and sleep a little bit. Then in the late afternoon they started up again a little stronger and kept on through the night.
Sunday was filled with ever strengthening contractions and our midwife, Faith Morie, working hard on getting the opening of Amy's cervix out from behind Guthrie's head. This was terrible and excruciating to watch. I wanted to cry seeing how much this pained Amy. The contractions continued to ebb and flow all Sunday night and Amy's water began trickling out that night too.
Monday was the craziest day of my life. Faith continued to work with the opening of Amy's cervix, slowly getting it to come forward until finally it was about 90% forward and it finally began to dilate. When it finally got to 5cm, Faith pulled out the birthing tub. We were ecstatic. This seemed like an amazing accomplishment in and of itself. Things seemed finally to be moving.
Our chiropractor, Dr. Janell Zimmerman, came and adjusted Amy, and also gave her some amazing and much needed mental coaching. This was when Amy moved from 5cm to about a 9cm in an hour. I was sure the baby was coming now.
It was around 4pm when the midwife assistants Annabelle and Ashley came. A feeling of excitement was in the air. I texted friends and family, "the baby will be here soon!". Our family was camped out at a coffee shop waiting for any news. They HATED the waiting game and they were all completely inexperienced with home birthing and VERY doubtful of it to say the least.
Then everything slowed down again. Amy stayed at a 9cm for hours. This is when the real ups and downs began. This is when the real metal battle began- the battle against fear, doubt, fatigue (we were all utterly exhausted by this point).
I prayed like I have never prayed in my life. Amy had been working SO HARD and it seemed like every push was moving the baby a millimeter at a time. A small lip of the cervix held the baby's head from passing through. Faith would reach into the tub using her fingers to press against the lip as Amy pushed with all her might. It was hard. At a few points Amy wanted to give up, to go to the hospital, to get drugs put in her. But every time she would rest and I would ask her to read her birth signs she had painted and put up on the walls. "I was born to give birth. This is what my body was designed to do. I can do anything. I am SO powerful"
Finally the head made it thru the cervix. THANK GODDESS. At this point Amy was in high spirits. "I am doing this! This baby is coming! Nothing can stop me!" She lay on her back on the bed with me holding back one leg and Ashley holding her other leg. She pushed with all she had for what seemed like hours. The baby still wasn't out. We couldn't even see the head.
At this point Amy hit the real wall. She tried about six other positions including the birthing stool (ouchhhh). She asked Faith if she could get back in the pool to gather her strength.
The contractions were coming very close together by this point and it was hard for her to get rest. Her eyes were HUGE- they looked like she had taken a shitload of ecstasy. Everyone was beyond tired- we were at the point of delirium. Faith, Annabelle, and Ashley were sprawled out on the bed with eyes closed, almost asleep.
I prayed to the Goddess, "Please please please help us. Please bring Amy strength. Please!!!!" This was when something came over me. Up to this point I had handed the vibe control over to Faith and everyone else. Now I knew that I had to get my ass up and stand up for Amy. I knew she could do it. I knew how badass she was.
Amy started to gain her strength for another strong push. She got back in her "power position" on her back on the bed. I held on to her foot for dear life as she pushed harder than ever. I screamed with every push "YOU GOT THIS BABY! PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH PUSH DON'T STOP DEAR GOD DON'T STOP!!!" I sounded crazy, but by this point I did not care. My screams got everyone else to join in and raised the energy of the room. Amy pushed so hard with her legs that my whole body was sore from holding them back for days after.
Finally at around 1:30am Tuesday morning I began to see Guthrie's head. And by 2:05am he was out and on his momma's belly and I was crying my eyes out. He was more perfect than I could have ever imagined! We were all on cloud 9.
It turned out that Guthrie's fists had been balled up by his chin making his shoulders squared- this was why the cervix was trapped behind and took so long to come forward and dilate, and also why it was so hard for Amy to push him out!
But we had done it! Amy had done it! The saga was over and Guthrie was healthy and happy, and Amy was ok, and we were all TIRED AS DOGS.
They cleaned him up and checked him out and then we spent the first night with our beautiful little boy.
Wow. I've never in my entire life felt TRIUMPH AND VICTORY like I did that night. It is a feeling I will never forget and I am thankful beyond words to have been a part of it, and I am thankful that we did it OUR WAY and not the way that society told us it should be.
Pride, happiness, gratitude, and sheer awe are what I feel as I write this. I got to see Amy as I had never seen her before - a true WARRIOR!
And this is what I think was the best part of the whole experience, the feeling of pure exultation, elation, and celebration like I never have felt in my entire life. The home birth was an initiation into the deepest mysteries and miracles of life and I am so thankful to have lived through it.
Thank you Goddess, thank you Amy, thank you Faith and Ashley and Annabelle and Janell, and thank you little Guthrie ~
~ Guthrie's Momma's Story...
Guthrie Wild took his time coming into this world. He was born exactly 2 weeks past his due date. My labor experience started around 10pm on Friday and lasted until I gave birth at 2:05am on Tuesday April 19th, 2016.
My contractions were not consistently strong during the entire 4 days. There was a lot of start and stop action, which was at times very frustrating, and I got discouraged at what felt like a lack of progress.
But we just kept going - a chiropractor visited me who was herself 37 weeks pregnant, and besides adjusting me, she gave me amazing and grounding advice. One of the things she told me when I was having contractions was to think of it as inviting the wave. So I would say out loud, "I invite this wave, this is bringing me closer to my baby, I can do this," and it helped so much.
The lip of my cervix was pressed behind the baby's head so it took an enormously long time for that to move, and Faith, my midwife, had to press it with her hands over and over during contractions which was excruciating - but then eventually it finally moved and I was able to start dialating more.
After over 3 days of contracting like that I finally got to a 10 and it still took 5-6 hours of pushing for the baby to come out because he had his hands up under his chin. I wanted to give up many times and questioned whether I could actually do it. But trusting God and praying for help gave me the strength and courage to keep going - also Nate and my birth crew's belief in me made a huge difference.
Me and Nate's family were really scared because they had never experienced home birth before and they were worried about how long the labor was taking. Luckily my mom acted as the liaison between us and them so I could keep my birth space free of drama/negative energy. She was the only family member I invited to attend the birth. I had a midwife and two assistants, plus an incredible chiropractor who came to adjust me twice and ended up coming again to support me through the final stages.
I wanted to a give up a few times and go to the hospital but luckily I was reminded that going to a hospital wouldn't necessarily make things easier and I would still have to push my baby out one way or another.
With the grace of God I made it through one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences of my life.
Looking back I am so glad I didn't give in to the western mindset of needing medical assistance to speed labor, and instead I trusted my body's natural ability to give birth. I've learned so much from this experience and feel inspired to support other women in choosing home birth.
I gave birth to a healthy 9lbs 1oz boy who scored an 8 on the Apgar test at 1 min, and a 9 at 5 min (10 being the highest score).
Throughout my pregnancy we were convinced I was having a girl, so when I saw he had a penis I was shocked! It was a wonderful surprise.
Immediately after he was born I got to hold him skin to skin against me. He was crying loud and proud straight out of the womb. I kept saying, "my baby, my sweet baby", over and over as I held him. He found my breast and latched easily with the help of the chiropractor. I felt immense relief and deep accomplishment. I was glad that he was healthy, strong and alive. And we had done it at home on our terms!
Giving birth has been one of the most empowering initiations I've ever gone through. I feel so blessed and thankful to have had a supportive birth team and loving partner. One of the biggest take aways I've learned is that labor and delivery is 90% mental. Having a positive attitude and affirming beliefs make all the difference.
As I write this, Guthrie is now almost 4 months old, and I can hardly believe how fast the time is flying by. Thinking back on my birth it seems like a dream, and I would do it 1,000 times over.
I've never experienced myself so powerful and determined before. It was a true miracle and I'm grateful for everyone who supported me through the most intense and beautiful moment of my life.